If you know who you are..then you know who you are not, and you will not become what others want you to be. A good cup of tea always warms the heart, let’s chat over a cup of tea on foolproof friendships.
Positive, supportive friendships can be one of the greatest gifts we can receive; but they require honesty, maturity and care. Some people may not be capable of this for a variety of reasons, so I’ve learned to be a little pickier when it comes to who I include in my inner circle.
Life experiences have given me opportunities to learn ways to avoid drama and pursue healthy relationships. Healthy friendships are not one-sided, both people benefit from the friendship. It’s built on mutual respect and more. To build healthy friendships, it is important to know the difference to define what you can expect from people. There are three categories of people that I have learned. Understanding these will guide you into knowing who you are and not become what others want you to be. Each time giving you an opportunity to enter and remain grounded in healthy friendships; Confidants, Constituents and Comrades.
- Confidants are in your life for you. They’re your ride or die friends. They hang in there with you in good times and the bad! They’re people you can trust with the most private matters and problems discussed. You won’t have too many of these. They have intelligence, they imitate the love of Christ.
- Constituents are there for what you’re about. They are there for the cause, because you share similar goals. They are not there for you, they are there for where you are going. Once they reach their destination they will leave. If they find a faster car to their destination, they will take it. You will get your feelings hurt because you thought they got in the car for you.
- Comrades are not for you AND not for what you’re about. They will hook up with you only because they are against what you are against and they need your help to kill what needs to be killed. Once the battle has been won, they will leave. Common enemies make strange bed fellows!
Remember, your constituents and comrades will always out number your confidants!! Until you foolishly give confidential information to someone who was a constituent or comrade like I did 😦 , great lesson learned! I misunderstood what they were all about! I thought they weren’t going anyway so I invested too much of me into their lives. I planted too much into people who were moving on as soon as they reached their destination.
You don’t have to generate traffic in your life. You just have to figure out why people are on the same highway with you. After an incident shook my core, I realized “woe unto me for getting the categories all confused! I quickly learned to watch how many people I sign up to be there for, because I am a limited resource. I was always willing to do so much for people who did so little for me. I realized that I invested good seed in bad ground. As my heart shattered from investing too much, the lessons learned were further greater than the heart ache.
As you do an introspect and separate your friendships into these three categories, you will find value in each of the category. The caveat is learning to differentiate them as you journey this highway of life. Friendships are a blessing, know the difference!
Faithful C. C👥